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Adoption Issues/Expert Profile

Alice Allen, Rev (ULC)

U.S.

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Expertise

Adoption Reunion and Reconciliation - "Do I matter to you?" - To adopted persons and their families, it is an especially important question. I offer search and support guidance, information about typical/atypical consequences of reunion, and counseling to all involved parties. Please 'View Profile' for more detail.

Experience in the area

I am an Universalist minister and counselor specializing in search, reunion, and reconciliation issues. I am founder of GrannysCupboard, an ULC ministry. As a function of our ministry, GrannysCupboard assists individuals searching for missing or estranged family and community members. Confidential information provided to GrannysCupboard is not shared without explicit permission. All costs associated with search service are paid by GrannysCupboard.

Education/Credentials

see above

Please note: Details that you provide in your questions to me may be posted to the AllExperts site. This means that your personal information could be displayed for the world to see. If this concerns you, please adhere to the following guidelines when communicating with me through allexperts.com

GUIDELINES: Keep questions general in nature, while giving enough information to explain the situation. GrannysCupboard cautions against sharing personally identifying information in public arenas such as AllExperts.

[Personally identifying information includes, for instance: dates of birth, social security numbers, drivers license and registration numbers, full names (past and present), education and/or employment histories, financial data, account ids and passwords, home and business addresses (past and present), telephone numbers, and photographs.

Providing this type of information about yourself, your family, or your friends can lead to misuse by persons with less-than-honorable intentions. There are times when GrannysCupboard may want more information in order to provide high quality service. In these cases, we will arrange for the transfer of that information privately. ~ Granny]

If your question is search related, please DO submit your question privately. We will follow up with a request for details. It is a matter of safety.

Providing an accurate answer to your question requires only the limited information called for in these guidelines. Please do not put yourself or your loved ones at risk by sharing personally identifying information in public arenas. Thank you.

What do you like about this subject?

The opportunities to search for and find missing loved ones have dramatically increased with the evolution of the Internet. As a result, more families are dealing with the consequences of search and reunion. Because of my experience in this field, I hope to assist individuals with the rebuilding of self, family, and community.

What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?

GrannysCupboard is working hard to build an Internet resource for the generations. With time, the work will house comprehensive online help for individuals seeking lost loved ones. The entire project, to date, is non-commercial and self-supported. It is my passion.

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:

1) In this day and age, almost anyone not intentionally hiding can be located...
2) Some people, upon finding or being found, experience emotional issues that surprise them...
3) The finding, of itself, offers no magical solution to the long term concerns that may have developed during the separation.

Something controversial or provocative about this subject

adoptee: 1) aparents will not stop loving you, 2) bparents surrendered you because they love you...
adoptive parents: 1) children will not stop loving you, 2) bparents are not enemies...
biological parents: 1) child already loves you, 2) aparents are not enemies...
Reunion and reconciliation are processes that can benefit each of you.

Average Ratings

Recent Reviews from Users

User	Date	K	C	P	Comments
Lindsey Van Wyk	05/07/12	10	10	10	I really appreciate your help. There's some .....
dawn	02/29/12	10	10	10	Thank you for your detailed and thoughtful .....
George	08/26/11	10	10	10	Thank you.
Josette	02/10/11	10	10	10	Thank You for trying to help me .....
Sara	10/21/10	8	10	10

Recent Answers from Alice Allen, Rev (ULC)

2012-05-01 Searching, Closed Adoption:

Lindsey, congratulations on your decision to search. As you know, sealed records and closed adoptions will make your search more challenging. Adopted persons are routinely denied information about their

2012-02-28 Sister will not share details:

Dawn, your sister may be sharing as much as she believes she can share. Things are a bit different these days, however years ago secrecy was a huge part of the adoption process. Without a date of birth

2012-02-20 Social Services, false allegations:

Michelle, as you have learned, "social services" are very powerful state sanctioned agencies. Judges make legal choices for children based upon their recommendations. Parents fighting to regain custody

2011-08-23 A problem with my adoptive parents caused by me:

George, infant adoption is very often a messy business that thrives on deceptions and falsehoods. As an adult you have made a choice to correct your birth documents and to reclaim your identity. Congratulations!

2011-08-16 Telling someone you are their half brother:

Jeff, adoption has denied you normal relationships with your natural family members. Your natural mother could ease that loss and promote positive relationships by sharing her history with her raised children

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