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Alice Allen, Rev (ULC)


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Adoption Reunion and Reconciliation - "Do I matter to you?" - To adopted persons and their families, it is an especially important question. I offer guidance related to post-adoption search and reunion. Questions about how to search, what to expect of reunion, and where to locate resources are welcome. Please 'View Profile' for more detail.

Experience in the area

Universalist minister and counselor specializing in post-adoption search, reunion, and reconciliation issues. Founder of GrannysCupboard, a ULC ministry that assists individuals who are searching for missing or estranged family and community members. Confidential information provided to GrannysCupboard is not shared without explicit permission. All costs associated with search service are paid by GrannysCupboard. No fees are charged.


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Please note: Details that you provide in your questions to me may be posted to the AllExperts site. This means that your personal information could be displayed for the world to see. If this concerns you, please adhere to the following guidelines when communicating with me through

GUIDELINES: Keep questions general in nature, while giving enough information to explain the situation. GrannysCupboard cautions against sharing personally identifying information in public arenas such as AllExperts.

[Personally identifying information includes, for instance: dates of birth, social security numbers, drivers license and registration numbers, full names (past and present), education and/or employment histories, financial data, account ids and passwords, home and business addresses (past and present), telephone numbers, and photographs.

Providing this type of information about yourself, your family, or your friends can lead to misuse by persons with less-than-honorable intentions. There are times when GrannysCupboard may want more information in order to provide high quality service. In these cases, we will arrange for the transfer of that information privately. ~ Granny]

If your question is search related, please DO submit your question privately. We will follow up with a request for details. It is a matter of safety.

Providing an accurate answer to your question requires only the limited information called for in these guidelines. Please do not put yourself or your loved ones at risk by sharing personally identifying information in public arenas. Thank you.

What do you like about this subject?

The opportunities to search for and find missing loved ones have dramatically increased with the evolution of the Internet. As a result, more families are dealing with the consequences of search and reunion. Because of my experience in this field, I hope to assist individuals with the rebuilding of self, family, and community.

What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?

GrannysCupboard is working hard to build an Internet resource for the generations. With time, the work will house comprehensive online help for individuals seeking lost loved ones. The entire project, to date, is non-commercial and self-supported. It is my passion.

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:

1) In this day and age, almost anyone not intentionally hiding can be located...
2) Some people, upon finding or being found, experience emotional issues that surprise them...
3) The finding, of itself, offers no magical solution to the long term concerns that may have developed during the separation.

Something controversial or provocative about this subject

adoptee: 1) aparents will not stop loving you, 2) bparents surrendered you because they love you...
adoptive parents: 1) children will not stop loving you, 2) bparents are not enemies...
biological parents: 1) child already loves you, 2) aparents are not enemies...
Reunion and reconciliation are processes that can benefit each of you.

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    K = Knowledgeability    C = Clarity of Response    P = Politeness
Misty04/27/16101010Thank you for helping me answer this .....
Roxann03/17/15101010Thank you I will try that.
Heather11/03/14101010Thank you so much for tracking down .....
Sara11/04/12101010Thank you for your support. The validation .....

Recent Answers from Alice Allen, Rev (ULC)

2016-10-02 Sibling Search:

The search for siblings may prove difficult without identifying information. Much will depend on where the adoptions were finalized. Reunion registries and DNA registries are becoming more popular and

2016-04-23 Birth Mother Wants Updated Obituary:

JoAnne, in my opinion, it is likely that the "birth" father's recent passing has triggered your sister. Losing a child is not something she can entirely "put behind her." Mothers do not forget. Your sister

2016-04-16 Post-Adoption: Family Reconciliation :

Misty, trust your instincts. It is the best approach. Clearly, your son has a right to know his father and his siblings. And, promoting these family relationships will help your son to feel less dis-membered

2015-03-10 Searching for my birth mother:

If you are an adult adopted person who was born/adopted in California (or any other US State where adoption records and original birth certificates are sealed by the courts), learning more about your beginnings

2015-02-26 Searching for my birth mother:

Roxann, identifying birth family members may be as simple as requesting your records. Even if the search becomes complicated, well-qualified help is available free of charge. Thank you for writing.   


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