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Divorce is the beginning of a life review process. For many people, it`is the first intentional decision they make about their lives. The transition into the next stage of life is difficult at first, but it gets easier. The questions I can help you with: What happened? How do I take care of our children? How do I get over my anger? How do I plan a future for myself?
I am Philip Belove, psychologist and coach. My specialty is helping people do their midlife transformation work, a psychological project that creates a foundation for happy and satisfying second half of life.
Midlife Work, because it involves so much careful attention to inner truth, is notoriously stressful on marriages and on dating relationships.
The challenges of the midlife project are echoed in the typical questions asked me as a dating-at-midlife expert:
?Learning to reconcile what you say with what you do. This challenge is echoed in questions like: Why does he say this when he does that? What is really happening?
?Learning to create your own dreams instead of being the victim of someone else's. This challenged is echoed in questions like these: How do I say that I don't want to xyz? I've been lying about some things and what should I do now?
?Learning to live a life that suits you. This challenge produces questions like Is what I'm doing normal? What if my kids think I'm crazy? How can I say that this is starting to bother me?
A person doing Midlife Transformation Work needs to develop 1) A Working Vision, 2) Skills and Strategies to realize that vision, and 3) External sources of support for the project. My role for people is to be part of the support system. I help people clarify their visions, develop the strategies and skills they need, and I help them review their progress.
M.A. Counseling Psychology
Ed.D. Counsulting Psychology (Family Therapy)
I like this subject because people dealing with it are taking their lives so seriously.
We live in a culture that supports divorce. In the past, cultures supported marriage. This freedom of choice is a profound challenge.
If you leave a relationship becuase you found it overwhelming, the next intimate relationship you enter will eventually take you to the same challenge point.
| User | Date | K | C | P | Comments |
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| Terri | 01/25/12 | 10 | 10 | 10 | Thank you for your quick response. You ..... |
| Dina | 10/25/11 | 10 | 10 | 10 | |
| karla | 10/04/11 | 10 | 10 | 10 | |
| Kristen | 09/30/11 | 8 | 10 | 10 | |
| Gail Pelletier | 08/31/11 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
Hi, Fred. Yes, I'd say you guys need to straighten this out before you get married. There's a bit too much momentum already in the situation and so it will take some time to re-normalize the situation
Hi Cindy, I think this was the part of your question that stopped me, " He said it was my fault, because I told him to leave and was mean to him. How did this happen to me again? I asked him to just
Hi Terri, Your situation is a very unhappy one, but not an uncommon one. If I read it right, that is. I could be mistaken. So often folks put a lid on their anger and resentment and do all they
I'm not sure what we can do but I'll be happy to talk to you. We can use Skype. The time zones will be tricky. I"m in Los Angeles for the next 6 weeks and then I'm back in Montreal. Let's switch to direct
Hi Tierra, Brutal story. I'm so sorry. This is the worst pain, really. I've experienced myself more than once in my life (I'm in my 70th year) and I've helped lots of folks through it. But ... a moment
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