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Divorce is the beginning of a life review process. For many people, it`is the first intentional decision they make about their lives. The transition into the next stage of life is difficult at first, but it gets easier. The questions I can help you with: What happened? How do I take care of our children? How do I get over my anger? How do I plan a future for myself?

Experience in the area

I am Philip Belove, psychologist and coach. My specialty is helping people do their midlife transformation work, a psychological project that creates a foundation for happy and satisfying second half of life.

Midlife Work, because it involves so much careful attention to inner truth, is notoriously stressful on marriages and on dating relationships.

The challenges of the midlife project are echoed in the typical questions asked me as a dating-at-midlife expert:

?Learning to reconcile what you say with what you do. This challenge is echoed in questions like: Why does he say this when he does that? What is really happening?
?Learning to create your own dreams instead of being the victim of someone else's. This challenged is echoed in questions like these: How do I say that I don't want to xyz? I've been lying about some things and what should I do now?
?Learning to live a life that suits you. This challenge produces questions like Is what I'm doing normal? What if my kids think I'm crazy? How can I say that this is starting to bother me?

A person doing Midlife Transformation Work needs to develop 1) A Working Vision, 2) Skills and Strategies to realize that vision, and 3) External sources of support for the project. My role for people is to be part of the support system. I help people clarify their visions, develop the strategies and skills they need, and I help them review their progress.

Education/Credentials

M.A. Counseling Psychology
Ed.D. Counsulting Psychology (Family Therapy)

What do you like about this subject?

I like this subject because people dealing with it are taking their lives so seriously.

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:

We live in a culture that supports divorce. In the past, cultures supported marriage. This freedom of choice is a profound challenge.

Something controversial or provocative about this subject

If you leave a relationship becuase you found it overwhelming, the next intimate relationship you enter will eventually take you to the same challenge point.

Average Ratings

Recent Reviews from Users

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    K = Knowledgeability    C = Clarity of Response    P = Politeness
UserDateKCPComments
julie04/27/12101010 
julie04/27/12101010 
Jessica04/08/12101010Thank you..I have actually been seeing .....
denise03/21/12101010Its not very often in this day .....
Amber03/03/12101010 

Recent Answers from Philip Belove, Ed.D.

2012-05-11 should i break up just months before my marriage?:

dhanya    You have a very serious problem.  There are many cultures where the relationship between the grown child and one or the other parent is considered more important than the relationship between

2012-04-27 bpd:

I didn't choose, or notice, the subject line.  For myself I never diagnose someone from a distance, never diagnose someone based on  stories from a third party. Usually that kind of diagnosing is just

2012-04-26 bpd:

Hi Julie,    You do have a terrible situation on your hand and it does have the potential to ruin your marriage.     I've seen this happen more than once.    I have only the barest outlines from you so

2012-04-16 moving on:

I am relieved to hear how you received my note. I was concerned.    I was going to write a follow up myself.  I wanted to tell you that the anger you feel, the "temper tantrum" is a signal that you want

2012-04-14 moving on:

   Hi Holly,    Thanks for this question. You are not the only one to have asked it. It's a deep and common one for folks who have been married a long time, maybe more than once and are single at midlife

 

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