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  You are here:  AllExperts > Parenting/Family > Step-Parenting > Divorce Issues

Expert Profile: Philip Belove, Ed.D.

Expertise:  Divorce is the beginning of a life review process. For many people, it`is the first intentional decision they make about their lives. The transition into the next stage of life is difficult at first, but it gets easier. The questions I can help you with: What happened? How do I take care of our children? How do I get over my anger? How do I plan a future for myself?

Experience in the area
I am Philip Belove, psychologist and coach. My specialty is helping people do their midlife transformation work, a psychological project that creates a foundation for happy and satisfying second half of life.

Midlife Work, because it involves so much careful attention to inner truth, is notoriously stressful on marriages and on dating relationships.

The challenges of the midlife project are echoed in the typical questions asked me as a dating-at-midlife expert:

?Learning to reconcile what you say with what you do. This challenge is echoed in questions like: Why does he say this when he does that? What is really happening?
?Learning to create your own dreams instead of being the victim of someone else's. This challenged is echoed in questions like these: How do I say that I don't want to xyz? I've been lying about some things and what should I do now?
?Learning to live a life that suits you. This challenge produces questions like Is what I'm doing normal? What if my kids think I'm crazy? How can I say that this is starting to bother me?

A person doing Midlife Transformation Work needs to develop 1) A Working Vision, 2) Skills and Strategies to realize that vision, and 3) External sources of support for the project. My role for people is to be part of the support system. I help people clarify their visions, develop the strategies and skills they need, and I help them review their progress.


Education/Credentials
M.A. Counseling Psychology
Ed.D. Counsulting Psychology (Family Therapy)

Ask a Question       View Past Answers       View Ratings            
What do you like about this subject?  I like this subject because people dealing with it are taking their lives so seriously.
Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:  We live in a culture that supports divorce. In the past, cultures supported marriage. This freedom of choice is a profound challenge.
Something controversial or provocative about this subject  If you leave a relationship becuase you found it overwhelming, the next intimate relationship you enter will eventually take you to the same challenge point.
Average Ratings
Prestige Points: 6184
Knowledge   9.85   Best of the best
Clarity of Response   9.78   Best of the best
Timeliness   9.94   Best of the best
Politeness   9.98   Best of the best
Number Of Questions
(in Past 24 Hours)
2
Max Questions to be Asked
(in 24 Hour period)
5
Total Questions
(since joining AllExperts)
1005
Recent Reviews from Users
KnowlClarityTimePolitenessDate
1010101012/01/08
1010101011/18/08
1010101011/14/08
1010101011/10/08
1010101011/06/08
User Comments
Thank you so much for your extremely quick response. Your insight into this crazy situation has helped alot. I love your empathy.
(Reni on 12/01/08)
Thank you so much for your prompt response. You gave me a lot to think about, and I certainly will get back to you.
(Lee on 11/18/08)
I was surprised at how much he knew about me that I didn't write about.
(Angela on 11/14/08)
Thankyou as this begins to help me better understand. I've tried the e-mail address of drbelove@datingatmidlife.com to no avail.
(Kurt on 11/10/08)
I appreciate -- and was surprised by -- the thoughtful (not to mention speedy) reply. His answer made me ask more questions -- and that was the
(Nancy on 11/06/08)
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Recent Answers from Philip Belove, Ed.D.
2008-11-29  Meaning of a word Hi Janice, First, thanks for the kind and gratifying feedback. I'm not sure what he means. Usually when a market "bottoms out" it means it's gone as far down as it can go and is starting to recover....
2008-11-24  Affect father's behavior has on daughter. Well you are right that it will make an impression on her, as did the divorce. Seven is young and she might find this confusing. At seven she will find the whole idea of divorce confusion and that...
2008-11-24  child custody Hard to say. Certainly it's not a call anyone could make without interviewing them and others in the family. In general, the eleven is probably, the 8 very much on the edge but also very attached to...
2008-11-18  Wife very likely wants to divorce. Hi. I had a number of reactions reading your letter. In the first paragraphs where you talked about what good father you were and how your wife travels, I thought, Oh, oh, he's going to tell me she's...
2008-11-18  how to know when its time to move on Hi. I don't know what I could add. You sound like you've done and are doing The Work. There comes a time when you have do something rather paradoxical and this is you have to commit to "maybe."...
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