Parenting Stepchildren/Expert Profile

Expertise

I am able to answer queries about the challenges facing stepmothers & stepmothers-to-be. I am also able to answer queries from men who are divorced with children from a previous, now-dissolved liaison. I am happy to assist these particular parties, since it is their healthy relationship with one another that is the basis of all success in StepLand. I am able to answer queries particularly on the following topics: how to disengage, how to set clear & effective boundaries with all parties in the step dynamic, how to communicate clearly within the primary relationship, how to effectively address less-than-beautiful behaviours from all parties in the step dynamic, how to deal with PAS & its continuous effects, & how to support & grow the primary relationship consistently. (In these statements "primary relationship" = divorced man with children + new partner, who is also called "the stepmother".) I am committed to listening deeply, providing immediately workable solutions, answering each query with kindness, compassion, & encouragement, & respecting each querent's privacy, confidentiality, & challenging situation. I wish every one of you in StepLand peace, happiness, health, & harmony. Unfortunately, I am not able to answer queries from individuals seeking legal advice, since I am not an attorney. However, there are some wonderful attorneys here on AllExperts.com who can answer legal queries for you.

Experience in the area

I have been a stepmother for nearly 3 years. I am still sane, I still love my partner, I have peace in my home, & I have a skill set for all occasions. No woman knows what she's walking into when she begins a seriously committed relationship with a divorced man who has children from a previous, now-dissolved liaison. I certainly didn't! I learned the hard way. I now know what the pitfalls are, where the challenges lie, & how ineffective & unproductive current, traditional advice to stepmothers can be. That information is based on the old post-divorce step/blended model, & it no longer works. I can share with you what actually works, thanks to the astonishing behaviours of everyone in our particular step dynamic. I administrate a website exclusively for stepmothers, to help them build a skill set that brings peace & clarity to their primary relationship & sets very clear boundaries with all parties in the post-divorce step/blended dynamic. My highest goal is to share highly & immediately effective techniques that help stepmothers to shift the entire post-divorce blended/step dynamic into something workable, respectful, & peaceful for absolutely everyone involved. Steplife is not all about the children, it is not all about the painful implementation of the divorce decree, it is not about who said what or who did what to whom, & it is not about the hurts suffered by the two X's. Steplife is a reality that affects us all & must be dealt with in an effective, humane way. I assure my sisters-in-step that they will be pleasantly surprised by the respect, the peace, & the harmony that will result from the new, effective techniques for taming steplife. You can look for my book, The StepLand Survival Guide, in 2010.

Publications

My work stock writing & some ghost work has appeared in various forms specifically in publications by Amway International, Conde Nast, LPI Media (now Regent), & Leica World View. My technical writing has appeared in various forms in large & small automotive, art, health, "home & garden", & trade publications over the years. My ghostwriting is probably something that you have seen at some point in your life, unless you live on the moon. You will be able to enjoy my book, The StepLand Survival Guide, in 2010.

Education/Credentials

I am completing my B.F.A. in English & French 20th Century Literature. I have 17+ years of unrelenting private visual arts & fine arts instruction. I hold Automotive Technician Certification. No, seriously, I do. I like to fix things, which is why I would enjoy answering steplife-related queries from my sisters-in-step & their loving partners. I am an ordained non-denominational minister. While chipping away at completion of my degree, I have been a writer/editor/visual artist for 26+ years. I now work with my clients as a book shepherd & as a publisher. Einstein quipped, "Imagination is more important than education". BOTH are important, so get your degrees, my dears, while you do what is yours to do, & it will all come out right.

Past/Present Clients

My ghost writing clients have included actors, artists, banking & investment officers, educators, engineers, philanthropists, politicians, & scientists. I apologize that the limits of my contracts prevent me from sharing more detailed information. I have written copy & produced publications for neighbourhood organizations in my fair city. I have also written grants for these organizations on a volunteer basis. "Give back. Pay it forward. Do your bit." I am currently serving as book shepherd to an active client list of actors, artists, media personalities, & writers.