Parenting Stepchildren/Expert Profile

Expertise

I can answer questions about remarriage preparation, stepparenting, stepchild discipline, child visitation, grieving, stepfamily norms and myths, mission statements, stepparent job (role)descriptions, communication skills, loyalty and values conflicts, stepfamily identity problems, common pitfalls, ex mate and relative problems, stepfamily merger and adjustment tasks, name confusions, choosing an effective counselor, resolving money disputes, co-parenting support groups, and the family effects of court (legal) battles. I can`t answer questions about medicine, family law, legal stepchild adoption, or financial planning.

Experience in the area

I have studied and worked with stepfamilies clinically since 1979, and I have been a "step everything" personally. I was invited to be on the board of the Stepfamily Association of America (SAA) by it's founders, Drs. John and Emily Visher; and later was re-invited by president Margory Engle, PhD. For more detail, see this.

Organizations

Former Board member, Stepfamily Association of America (SAA)
National Stepfamily Resource Center (NSRC)Experts Council

Publications

Hundreds of Web articles on sfhelp.org ; I've uploaded over 150 self-improvement videos on YouTube; and have self-published 6 books. My ad-free Web site offers a unique, practical 7-lesson self-improvement course.

Education/Credentials

Stanford University BSME (1958) George Williams College MSW (1981) Hundreds of post-graduate seminars on a wide variety of "mental health" subjects

Awards and Honors

Hundreds of appreciative emails and comments on my Web site and videos from people all over the world.

Past/Present Clients

I have worked clinically with over 1,000 midwestern divorced and remarried family members, and have had over 800 stepfamily students in various seminars and courses since 1981

What do you like about this subject?

The chance to put my learnings and beliefs to work to help others - specially parents and their kids.

What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?

How to help more people understand and break the toxic [wounds + unawareness] cycle, build high-nurturance families, and avoid legal and psychological divorce.

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:

Typical multi-home stepfamilies are the same as intact biofamilies in some ways, and differ from them in over 60 other ways! Ignorance of these differences promote over 60 toxic stepfamily myths.

Something controversial or provocative about this subject

Most troubled co-parents seem to be survivors of early-childhood abandonment, neglect, and abuse. As a result, many are psychologically wounded and governed by a "false self." That puts their minor kids at risk of inheriting the wounds`, unless the co-parents are Self-motivated to heal their inner wounds. See this article.