Polyamory/Expert Profile

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Vincent M. Wales


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I will answer questions on the subject of Polyamory, including Polyfidelity and other variations.

Experience in the area

I "came out" as poly in 1997, though I've felt my poly side strongly for a couple decades longer than that.


I am the founder of PAARC, the Polyamory Awareness & Acceptance Ribbon Campaign. I have also belonged to two local poly organizations.


None really needed for this...

What do you like about this subject?

For me, polyamory is the only "natural" type of loving relationship paradigm. I honestly don't understand how people can "turn off" the ability to love others when they're in a relationship. Polyamory is about freedom... not sexual freedom, but emotional freedom.

What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?

I hope to see the day when poly relationships are not as stigmatized as they currently are.

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    K = Knowledgeability    C = Clarity of Response    P = Politeness
Ayla01/22/16101010Thank you. :)
Leslie09/22/15101010I'm reluctant to interfere, but I did .....
Leslie09/21/15101010Still good comments. But I really need .....
Leslie09/18/15101010Thank you so much for your honest .....
Bastien02/21/15101010Has been helpful so far.

Recent Answers from Vincent M. Wales

2016-01-22 What is the word for a polygamous group?:

Ayla, it depends on the particular arrangement. If, for example, Michael was involved with both women, but the women were not involved intimately with each other, the common term for that would be a "V"

2015-09-21 Surviving spouse's NRE:

Hi, again, Leslie.    I again have to stress that what follows is only my opinion based on what you've said, as well as my own hunches and biases.  But I see two big problems in what you just described

2015-09-18 Surviving spouse's NRE:

It certainly sounds like your husband isn't handling the NRE well, either. One of the most important things new poly folk tend not to realize is that when you add a secondary to your relationship, you

2015-09-17 Surviving spouse's NRE:

Hi, Leslie.    I want to begin by saying I'm sorry that you're going through this. For a "hard-wired monogamous" person, a partner's polyamorous inclinations can be crazy hard to understand, let alone

2015-05-14 Open marriage:

This is certainly a rough situation. From your description, it sounds like your husband might be realizing his worst fear.     My suspicion is that he agreed to you dating other men because he felt like


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