How to Know if You`re Really in Love/Expert Profile

Expertise

Peace, Love, & Joy to you. If you don't feel joy, you can at least have peace. For this I recommend meditation. It's a tool, like penicillin, or a hammer, but it doesn't kill germs or bang nails. It's scientifially proven to relax the mind & body, disperse the chaos of distraction and worry; a first step toward inner peace. Here I have to tell you about my "expertise", but to do that I have to teach you about love, right away. First, to have romantic love in the purest, most spiritual, advanced, sense, you must be free. Now that you know that, I can say, I was raised free, meaning as soon as I was able, my parents allowed me to make my own decisions. This is crucial, because true mature love-which is an art (meaning it is spiritual self-expression practiced through a honed skill) must be done of your own volition. And true mature love occurs only in an adult mind (a mind solely responsible for one's decisions). 'Spiritual' means soulfully coming from the spirit, or the essence of an intelligent, sentient being. 'Soulful' means honest in a way that identifies the person. 'Soulful' also means self-fulfilling, as a natural source of joy and growth, expressed as a form of one's own happiness. Next (after freedom), one must choose one's love entirely on one's own. This defines you as an adult. Neither my parents, nor any guardian ever influenced my love-choices; I was able to follow my heart and become an adult. The first love-choice you make is in what you cherish-to satisfy yourself; your interests. If you can't DO what you love, you cannot love WHOM you want; first and foremost, yourself-So how can you love another? Self-love is primary. Loving another is an extension of this. I was "allowed" to do both. Finally, I've had dedicated, growth-oriented relationships, at home and in other cultures. I have made mistakes. Thus I have learned.  PLEASE FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS at the BOTTOM for HELP (o^^o). 

Experience in the area

I've been fortunate to have helped many people around the world and I love to do it. I recommend these books, to help you help yourself: Being Happy, by Andrew Mathews, anything by Dr. Wayne Dyer, The Art of Loving, by Erich Fromm, Love, by Leo Buscaglia, True Love, and Anger, both by Thich Nhat Hanh, The Beloved, and The Prophet, by Khalil Gibran, and The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck. My relationship is intercultural. This adds dimension to the already complex scenario people are in, in a relationship. I'll help you find peace, understand your emotions and what's beneficial among them, and how to apply your appreciation of your emotions, of love and of better behavior, to a wholesome, loving relationship. I might help you meditate; to create the atmosphere in yourself for communication with your TRUE SELF, and then your beloved, or the one you would like to have a relationship with. I might help you simply find out if in fact you love someone or not. I may help you see there are precepts to love, as there are in religions, for conducting a moral and happy love-life. Learn more about me in my bio art, essays, poetry, novel in and memoir in pogress at http://carlatteniese.com.

Organizations

Amnesty International

Publications

Korea Herald (http://www.koreaherald.com/national/Detail.jsp?newsMLId=20110601000943), New York Newsday, The Planetary Review, The Long Island Catholic, Wake Up And Laugh (http://wakeupandlaugh.wordpress.com), http://bitnacarlo.blogspot.com/, http://carlatteniese.com

Education/Credentials

Raised Christian-with an emphasis on loving all people (Thanks, Mom), and to be politically active (Thanks, Dad). Studied Zen at Hwa Gye Sa Temple, Han Maum Zen & Culture Center, and The Buddhist English Library of Seoul, South Korea. Teacher Training in the U.S. at Berlitz and the Center for English Studies, NYC, and at Inlingua, Princeton. Studied Drawing, Photography, and Painting at the School of Visual Arts, NYC, and basic Psychology at Nassau Community College, Long Island. Fifteen years of experience teaching English as a Second language--many of those years abroad--has helped as well, as people from other cultures help us see ourselves and other human beings in a different light.

Awards and Honors

My reward is knowing I have helped people.

Past/Present Clients

I have taught and counseled people of all ages, experience-levels, professions and religions, and consider myself lucky to have had the opportunity and thankful to those who have shared with me. Every such interaction is a learning experience, and an opportunity for growth and improvement.

What do you like about this subject?

Love is the most important phenomena in human existence and development. All good things human stem from it. It's the most enjoyable emotion to feel, but, it's more than a feeling.

What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?

To inspire honesty, understanding, compassion; help lovers stay together.

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:

Love is not shopping for a better person. It's being one so you can love and be loved more. It's emotional and intellectual intelligence, but not logic. It's romantic attraction and decision; practice, not a mere emotion.

Something controversial or provocative about this subject

It's traditionally been permitted and forbidden by kings, parents, priests, clerics. That's wrong. Love is the purest, most righteous phenomenon, and so shouldn't be interfered with. It's learned, and found, and already there. People breaking up after years are likely giving up. Love is as much work as inspiration, if not more.