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  You are here:  AllExperts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Domestic Violence

Expert Profile: Chardonnay Nicole Thomas

Expertise:  I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself; BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.
I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.

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What do you like about this subject?  What I like about the subject of domestic violence is that it is one of the most important subjects in America today. More and more women are becoming involved in abusive relationships and need help to find ways to leave that situation. I also feel that abuse should never be tolerated in any type of relationship, point, blank, period.
What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?  Throughout this field I hope achieve the goals that I have set for this particular subject. I hope to mentor many women as well as men who are in need of help from an abusive and or unhealthy relationship. I've been there myself, so I know that I have good expertise on this subject. I hope to offer some of the best advice that I can.
Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:  Something that is interesting about this subject that others don't know is that it is rapidly affecting more and more women. We as women need to come together and realize that we deserve better than someone who is going to be abusive towards us in any kind of way.
Something controversial or provocative about this subject  Something controversial or provocative about this subject is that many people do not understand domestic violence. The best people that can talk about domestic violence are the ones that have been through it themselves, or those that watched their loved ones experience it. Sometimes it takes real-life experience to understand something like domestic violence.
Average Ratings
Prestige Points: 2036
Knowledge   9.83   Best of the best
Clarity of Response   9.95   Best of the best
Timeliness   9.68   Best of the best
Politeness   9.95   Best of the best
Number Of Questions
(in Past 24 Hours)
0
Max Questions to be Asked
(in 24 Hour period)
15
Total Questions
(since joining AllExperts)
268
Recent Reviews from Users
KnowlClarityTimePolitenessDate
10101004/29/08
1010101003/24/08
1010101003/09/08
1010101012/12/07
10101012/11/07
User Comments
gives a very honest opinion and tells it how it is. Thankyou
(Tracy on 04/29/08)
Very polite response that went to the hart of the problem. Thanks
(George on 03/24/08)
thanks u so muchhh
(Marizon Trout on 03/09/08)
Thankyou Chardonnay. The advise was honest,clear and just what i needed to be told. i think i wil read this every day just to help me get through.
(lou on 12/12/07)
Thanks I have earned alot about i its very sad that thi happens in the world.
(Theresa on 12/11/07)
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Recent Answers from Chardonnay Nicole Thomas
2008-04-12  Abuse Jill, Hello again. I am currently taking some personal time away from AllExperts and I do apologize for any inconvenience for my not getting back with you. If you are recognizing that...
2008-04-06  Does He Mean It? Tracy, Hello again. I am currently taking some personal time away from AllExperts and I do apologize for any inconvenience for my not getting back with you. First, I must say that this...
2008-03-31  Signs of Abuse........... Lindy-Ann, Hello again. I am currently taking some personal time away from AllExperts and I do apologize for the inconvenience of my not getting back to you. I read your question to me, and I...
2008-03-24  Reporting Abuse to Police Maria, Hello and thank you for taking the time to contact me with your concerns. Listen, don't you think that you deserve better than this? If it's one thing that I have learned, it's that the...
2008-03-19  I'm Researching Woman Abuse and Had a Question Jessica, Thanks again for contacting me regarding your concerns. The best solution to domestic violence involving women as the victims in my opinion, is to leave. I say that because it...
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