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Domestic Violence/Expert Profile


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Chardonnay Nicole Thomas

U.S.
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Expertise

I am someone who is highly experienced in the fields of Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships. I have been in my share of abusive relationships and I have also studied this field. I feel that it really takes someone who has been there and been abused to really understand what other women go through. I have been in unstable relationships that involved physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse. At that time, I felt as if there was no way out, but there is. I didn't think that I could make it, but I did, I didn't think that I could be strong, but I was. There were times when I was constantly being put down and my self-esteem was lowered. I know that you do not have a good feeling about yourself when someone who claims to love and care about you tells you that you are worth nothing and will never be anything out of life. I had to get away from that. I wanted my life to be positive, and now it seems to be. I still have days when I think about what I've been through and I feel melancholy, but I know that I'm okay now. I know now that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. I no longer allow people to disrespect and mistreat me, that doesn't sit well with me now. My standards of how I should be treated are much higher than they used to be. I feel that women especially, should always aim for the best, and never, ever settle for less than you deserve, because if you do, then you get what you settle for. I'm here to offer my expert advice to women who have experienced domestic violence and other forms of abuse throughout relationships. Remember, there is hope, so don't give up on yourself; BE CONFIDENT and BE STRONG.

Experience in the area

I have been in several abusive and unhealthy relationships that have given me the life experience that I have today. I am no longer ashamed to share my views and personal stories on how I survived domestic violence. I persevered through so many negative situations in my life, including abusive relationships, by having faith, and using the strength that God gave me. I learned a long time ago that life is not fair, and there is nothing that anyone can do about that; but we only have one life, so therefore we need to live it the best way that we know how. If people only realized how little time we do actually have here on this Earth, many people would not take so many things for granted. Tomorrow is not promised, but I know that if I stay on the right path towards life, everything will turn out okay. When I look back on my past, it's the good things that give me a more positive outlook on life; different times in my life where I was doing different things/activities. Some of my credentials and greatest accomplishments are throughout Dance and Music. For almost ten years I was a classical dancer. I excelled in Ballet, Jazz, and Pointe, but Ballet is my first love and always will be. I received awards, trophies, and numerous certificates throughout my years in dance. I also used to participate in an Orchestra where I played the violin. I received many certificates, awards, and medals throughout my time playing. I have also made The National Dean's List for the year's 2001-2002, and 2002-2003; as well as The National Scholars Honor Society in 2003. Not only that, I have volunteered with the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) in the past, and will continue to do so in the future.

Organizations

American Psychological Association—APA; American Psychology-Law Society—AP-LS; House Rabbit Society—HRS; International Association for Correctional and Forensic Psychology—IACFP; National Coalition Against Domestic Violence—NCADV; North Georgia House Rabbit Society—NGHR

Education/Credentials

Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology, Concentration: Psychology Applied to the Workplace, Walden University, Expected: 2010

Awards and Honors

Hope Scholarship Recipient, 2005; The National Scholar's Honor Society, Inducted 2003; National Dean's List, 2001-2002; 2003-2004; Georgia Music Educator's Association, Band-Orchestra, 1991-1992; 1992-1993; Conference Presenter-Clayton State University and The National Archives' Civic Engagement Student Research Conference, Title of Presentation: "North to the Future: The Candidates, Highlights, Factors, and Essential Outcome of the 2008 Alaska U.S. Senate Race"

What do you like about this subject?

What I like about the subject of domestic violence is that it is one of the most important subjects in America today. More and more women are becoming involved in abusive relationships and need help to find ways to leave that situation. I also feel that abuse should never be tolerated in any type of relationship, point, blank, period.

What do you still hope to achieve/learn in this field?

Throughout this field I hope achieve the goals that I have set for this particular subject. I hope to mentor many women as well as men who are in need of help from an abusive and or unhealthy relationship. I've been there myself, so I know that I have good expertise on this subject. I hope to offer some of the best advice that I can.

Something interesting about this subject that others may not know:

Something that is interesting about this subject that others don't know is that it is rapidly affecting more and more women. We as women need to come together and realize that we deserve better than someone who is going to be abusive towards us in any kind of way.

Something controversial or provocative about this subject

Something controversial or provocative about this subject is that many people do not understand domestic violence. The best people that can talk about domestic violence are the ones that have been through it themselves, or those that watched their loved ones experience it. Sometimes it takes real-life experience to understand something like domestic violence.

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Recent Reviews from Users

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    K = Knowledgeability    C = Clarity of Response    T = Timeliness    P = Politeness
UserDateKCTPComments
Lydia11/07/0910101010Thank you for your wonderful support.
Lydia10/31/0910101010 
sohini09/01/0910 
Flower08/31/0910101010Thank you so much Chardonnay for your .....
Ginny08/14/0910101010 

Recent Answers from Chardonnay Nicole Thomas

2009-11-06 Physically abusive sibling who's out of control:

Hi Monica, Tolerating abuse from anyone is, just in plain words: "not cool." Your brother is abusing you and I can only wonder why he is still around you. I would get the restraining order and be

2009-11-05 domestic assult:

Hi Sheila, I guess my first question to you is why? Why are tolerating abuse from your husband and trying to then minimize it by saying how good he is in between the abuse, and how good he is with

2009-11-02 Will I lose the kids if I report? Is there another way?:

Hi Jessica, Thank you for taking the time to contact me. My biggest concern from reading your question to me is that you are considering staying in a relationship where you are actively being abused

2009-08-29 Online Domestic Abuse Support Groups:

Hi Carolyn, I am not familiar with many online support groups for domestic violence. But I must say that in regards to your past abusive situation, counseling or therapy is a great recommendation

2009-08-27 3rd time trying to serve restraining order papers, what should i do?:

Flower, This is a situation that is best handled by the court. What you can do is let your lawyer, if you have one, and the judge know that you do fear for your life and they will intervene. Also, I

 

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